yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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