do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
