so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
