Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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