She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
