And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
