: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
