High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
