I am spending my child support on dildos
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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