come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
