sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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