he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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