it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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