Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
