Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
