batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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