my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
