I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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