is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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