that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
