At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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