My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Randomize
