hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
