You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
