You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
