and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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