; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
