I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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