Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
