plz talk dirty to me
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
