The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
