I just made out with a guy for $7.
another moral hangover. fuck.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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