I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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