HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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