I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
