Will you blow on my dice?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
