**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
