Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
