question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
