she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
