note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
