i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
