apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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