I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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