I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
