The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Still dying that you shit outside
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
