strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
The adults are the big ones right?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
