Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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