I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
