i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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