hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
