I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
