Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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